Mattchoobob's Blog

Passionately pursuing purity in Christ

A Call To The Church, To Wake Up From Ignorance

Basically to start, I want to just say that I love the Church, and I love the people Jesus has in place in my life and throughout the body of Christ in the whole earth. I pray the church would wake up from condemning sinners, you’re all sinners too, we all equally need the grace of God in our lives!  And to wake up from ignorance against touchy subjects, such as homosexuality.

This may turn into me ranting, but I need to get this out. The Church needs to wake up from ignorance about homosexuality, within and without of the church. As someone who has walked away from that lifestyle, I beg you to stop telling me, (or us), that I just need deliverance and I’ll be fine! To just keep seeking Jesus and I’ll be “normal” one day! Even if you’re saying things like this out of love, it’s also out of ignorance! Being a Christian isn’t about being a heterosexual if you struggle with homosexual tendencies, but holiness. This is the type of comments that make me want to walk away from my faith and the church. I believe that there is no such thing as a “spirit of homosexuality” either. There are spirits of lust and perversion that work in a person who identifies as homosexual, and they also try to work/manifest in a believers life who struggles with ANY type of sexual issues, homosexual or heterosexual. There is also no greater sin than the other, they are both equally immorality to the Lord.

Also, if communicated to another Christian who struggles with it, as long as there is no attraction to each other OR there is accountability it is fine. There is no reason to run and hide from it. It is a part of who we are, but not who we are. Because I don’t believe there is a “spirit of homosexuality”, I also don’t believe that if you’re around someone that is openly gay, you are open to those 7 stronger demons to come back in after you kicked out the “1 gay demon.” Again, if we are around someone else who is maybe not a believer, but openly homosexual, there is no reason to run and hide from it either. There are people who believe it is who they are, (it’s not true), but it shouldn’t affect someone who walked away from it if they have had some deliverance and inner healing of wounds from their past.

I believe that homosexuality is real, but it’s also from relational brokenness, (due to the fall of man Genesis 3). But I believe it can happen from distant or no father in early years of life and/or overbearing mothers. Sexual and verbal abuse from parents, siblings, peers, etc. Lack of family dynamics. Our parents are broken too, we can’t really blame them for it. Sometimes it can come through generational bloodlines and try to cling, (the brokenness from the parents wounds us, possibly due to any struggle they had with homosexuality). We develop same sex attractions due to lack of same-sex affection growing up and even into adulthood. It is something that we deal with as it is developed, we are NOT born with it. (Even if science tries to prove it, they can’t really.)

The truth about deliverance is simply put like this: “The REAL definition of “deliverance” is NOT the absence of a struggle, but the grace of God (Power of God) to control a thing that once had control over you.” Someone can surely be delivered of physical ailments and even demons, but not from something that they have a void of relationally.

This is biblical. Look at 2 Corinthians 12 7-10 (emphasis added):

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God never took away the thorn in Paul’s side, (could have well been same-sex attractions, but it doesn’t say). But Jesus’ grace was sufficient for Paul to overcome(take control over), by the grace of God, the affliction that was given him to keep him humble in the sight of God and men. Proverbs 24:16 For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again… Solomon said that the RIGHTEOUS man may fall seven times, but he chooses to rise again. (It doesn’t say the UNrighteous man.) If I choose to get back up after stumbling doesn’t mean that I can’t be around people who identify as homosexual, as it’s sadly becoming more a part of our culture. God never promised we wouldn’t fall, and he doesn’t expect to attain 100% obedience right away either, but that we set our hearts to attain it.
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13
He promised us a way out of temptation, not that we’d never be tempted after we decide to follow Him.
One last thing that really bugs me. If two guys, (or girls), who struggle with same-sex attractions move into a place together, as long as there is no attraction to each other, it should be a safe place to live, as long as there is proper accountability in place as well. For clarity, if you don’t struggle with this, are you attracted to EVERYTHING that you see, or do you have a TYPE of person you are attracted to? …That’s what I thought. A common misconception is that any person who struggles with same-sex attractions/homosexuality, is automatically attracted to every person of the same sex that they see. It’s not true, we have a type of person, too. As for me, I have a type, of course, and am NOT attracted to every guy or even girl that I see for that matter. BUT I have to fight/by fleeing the lust and perversion that comes against me when I am attracted to someone of “my type”.
Church, I urge you to wake up from your ignorance to this issue! I will say again that walking away from any sin is not about becoming something, but about being holy, and walking in holiness instead. I don’t expect to ever fully be a “heterosexual instead of a homosexual,” until Jesus comes back or I die and go to His presence. Although Jesus can do anything, I feel He is choosing to let me struggle with this, as my arena to love Him, to show my love for Him.
If you have any comments or disagreements with me, comment below and I will be glad to talk about it. If I feel I left anything out or said anything wrong, I will fix it or repost this. Thank you for reading!

Updated Testimony – 2012

This is just an update and more knowledgeable overview of my testimony, some of it may be in detail, some may not be.

So to start, basically I grew up in the church, felt like I had a great home life as a child but looking back, don’t think it was as great as I thought. By the time I was 10-12 years old I had started looking at pornography and had developed same sex attractions. I believe that a root issue to these things was that I was molested by a male babysitter, possibly multiple times, around the age of 6-8 years old.

By the time I was 18, I was addicted to porn, and on my way out of the closet. I had professed to be a Christian my whole life, only knowing about God and not actually knowing Him. I walked the walked and talked the talked but didn’t do anything to back it up. But God had different plans for me. I got invited to go to the Onething Conference in Kansas City, MO. Lou Engle spoke on confessing our sin, and we went back to the hotel and I confessed some of it, and then more once I got home. It was at this point in my life that I decided that I was going to walk away from the homosexual lifestyle, even though I hadn’t really gone to far into it – by God’s Grace!

I can honestly say that I have had some freedom, but I know there is more! I still struggle daily with the same sex attractions and am dealing with my porn addiction by getting rid of sources to access it. I sold my iPhone after just getting the new one and having it for 3 months due to wanting freedom more than a phone. It was a moment that the Lord said “Are you willing to lay down a thing that you enjoy, for ME now, rather than keep struggling?”

I am currently seeking more healing from the Lord, and who knows if I will ever be completely free from some of it. But as I press into prayer and the Word, there is no limits for the Lord! He can pull us out of any pit, it doesn’t matter how deep you think you’re in, He can reach you.

Now, I am running hard after the Lord, walking in freedom, and not gonna worry about my past, it’s gone. Even if I still struggle,  His leadership in my life is perfect, and He won’t put me to shame if I put my trust in Him.

For Such a Time As This..

Recently, I have been feeling called to do some sort of fast for the ending of social-injustices. Such as abortion, human sex trafficking, the ending of pornography and homosexuality in America. (Ps25:9, Ps37:6, Ps72:4, Ps106:3, Prov21:3) I believe the Lord can end such things as these, if we petition Him. (Job36:6, Ps103:6, Prov29:26) He already knows what have need of or are going to ask for in prayer, He just wants us to talk to Him and ask Him for those things. No good thing will He with-hold from those who put their trust in Him, and seek His face. (Hebrews 11:6, Psalm 84:10-12)

6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

12 LORD Almighty,
blessed is the one who trusts in you.

In 2005 (the most recent year for which there is reliable data), approximately 1.21 million abortions took place in the U.S., down from an estimated 1.29 million in 2002, 1.31 million in 2000 and 1.36 million in 1996. From 1973 through 2005, more than 45 million legal abortions have occurred in the U.S. (AGI). Today there has been well over 50,000,000 abortions in the united states alone, legal or illegal.

27 million people are in modern-day slavery across the world, this includes sex trafficking and forced labor slaves. 80% are women and girls, 50% are children. 14,500 – 17,500 – Number of foreign nationals trafficked into the United States every year (2004). This illegal trade brings in over $32 billion a year worldwide.

Pornography brings in approximately $14,000,000,000(yes billion) a year in the United States alone. Approximately $56 Billion worldwide annually. It is absolute filth and garbage. It can become an addiction, with similar effects as drugs and alcohol have. (Small holes and deterioration on and in the brain, not 100% if this happens with a porn addiction but I’m sure something like this does occur). The chemicals released on the brain when viewing are similar to the effects of using drugs such as codeine or crack cocaine.

Homosexuality – in and of itself – identifying yourself as someone who is attracted to the same sex – is not sin, as well as the actual attractions to the same sex are not sin. What is sin – is when we take those thoughts and attractions and turn them into lust, view pornography, or act out in sexual relations with another member of the same sex (married gay couple or not). I.e. illicit sex acts, and or gay sex/gay marriage. Although, it is not a choice to develop the attractions, there is a choice to walk away or embrace it as who you are. There is hope to become new and more in Jesus Christ. I am a living testimony of that. (Click here for my testimony)

As of today, The Obama administration has “dropped the defense of the anti-gay marriage law”. This, in the Lord’s eyes, is a sad day. He is consumed with loving us, yet we willingly choose to walk away from Him.

There has been talk of prophetic words that indicate that America is going to have some serious hardship over the next 5-10 years. Under the weight of man’s sin, creation’s groan is going to have some serious temper tantrums in the months and years to come. Just to name a few things that could happen, earthquakes in DC and the west coast, volcanoes on the west coast acting up, solar storms that could cause major internet and communication problems, and droughts leading to famines, and higher food costs.

I believe that this is just the beginning of the birth pangs, described by Jesus Himself in Matthew 24(v. 7).

The time is now to act. As His bride, who will be made ready for Him, by His Spirit, we must take action. For such a time as this, He has me feeling the need to act in fasting and prayer, right as this defense for anti-gay marriage is dropped. We need to FAST and PRAY like we never have before. The urgency of the hour is upon us. There is no time to waste in the lesser pleasures of this world. It’s time to get in the Word, renew our minds, and be un-offended when the Lord begins to move with even greater power.

I believe the Lord has called me to a long term fast of no meats and sweets for the ending of social injustices as listed above. Will you, too, hear the call, as all of these things come crashing down on us, to FAST and PRAY weekly? Join me – by fasting meats and sweets one day a week for at least a year.

For such a time as this, He has called us to Pray for the ending of these injustices with. Ask the Lord to have His will be done, and His kingdom come in the lives of people in circumstances/situations listed above. And in your own life, let His kingdom come and His will be done.

Maranatha, Come, Lord Jesus!

Famines, Pestilences, and Earthquakes, Oh my!

And Jesus answered and said to them: “Take heed that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name saying ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these things are the beginning of sorrows. (Matthew 24:4-8 Emphasis added)

In January 2010, Haiti had a 7.0 earthquake which literally shook the nation. There was so much devastation and pain going on there. I was told that there was a 3 day solemn assembly called, but I’m not sure if it actually was. Haiti’s national religion is or was voodoo, but I know that the Lord is turning that nation back to Himself. It might have partly been a judgment saying, ‘turn back to me.’

A little over a month later in February 2010, there was another massive earthquake (8.8) in Chile which also shook that nation, but it almost seemed not as bad as Haiti. There was a lesser death toll on the country. I’m not sure what this one might have been. Shortly after that there was an abnormal earthquake in Illinois, fault line was not really near where it happened at. It was a 3.8 magnitude. It’s epicenter was only about 15 miles from my house, and I didn’t wake up to it at all. It was supposedly felt from Wisconsin to Tennessee.
There was a few more all over the place in Indonesia, Turkey, off the coast of Japan, India, and the Philippines. All recorded this year, all on the significant earthquake list on the government’s website.

HIV/AIDS is an epidemic that has been getting worse every year, in heterosexual and homosexual couples.. pre-marital sex is the reason for this. Homosexuality is a different story for a different blog post.

Cholera and diseases such as the flu, and STDs are again an epidemic among the nations. Caused by sin, and the fallen nature are the pestilences that Jesus was talking about in this verse. The things that must come. These are the beginning of sorrows.

Poverty has just tipped over 1 billion people world wide. That means one-in-six people lives in absolute poverty. Not everyone has clean water, over 15 million children per year die to a water related death, meaning unclean or lack of. A similar number of people go to sleep hungry and die every year due to hunger, famines.

We must pray into these things that the Lord will bring His justice, by bringing His Son to these people, and we can help by giving to the least of these.

Jesus said this in context to “what will be the sign of your coming and of the end?”

We must prepare ourselves for His coming by watching, fasting, and praying. The end of the age is soon. Jesus is coming and these are just the beginning of sorrows. Lord give us hearts to endure.

For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these things are the beginning of sorrows. (Matthew 24:7-8)

Behold, All Things Have Become New

This is something that I’ve been trying to work out in myself for a long time, well, since I got right with the Lord. Looking past my old man, because he’s dead. I am no longer who I was, but am now a new creation in Christ.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2Cor5:17)

The Lord basically did this in my heart one night in the prayer room after we went through the relational wholeness intensive here at IHOP-KC. I was feeling just a lot of pain during the intensive, and I wanted to cry. I couldn’t and I felt like the Lord wouldn’t let me. I also couldn’t seem to let go of my past and something going on in the moment. I always felt like God was looking at my past and how I’m not worthy to be His. I always seemed to have the weight of my past on my shoulders, like it was my burden to keep bearing.. but Jesus saw/sees differently. He wanted/wants to give me rest from my past and just REST IN HIM.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matt.11:28-30)

He wants me to give everything to Him, so He can carry my burdens. Especially my past, because I don’t have to dwell there anymore. He wants me to focus on Him, to focus on the wedding day, and the age to look forward, to press on towards the goal, the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil.3:14)

After an odd series of events, in the prayer room the tuesday night following the intensive, I finally cried. I was reading revelation, after just crying out to the Lord to touch me for an hour or more. He heard me, and Holy Spirit came on me at like 10:15 or so, and I cried for a good 40 minutes. It wasn’t the crying that made things better, it was the emotions and pain He finally let me let out. The release He allowed me to have that night made me feel so light and easy, I even looked different when I looked in a mirror. He had set me free from carrying my past with me, even though I had already been delivered from it. I let it weigh me down for a long time, and it’s part of the reason why I kept stumbling, even in the internship. I wasn’t focusing enough of my life or self on Him, and He is the reason I am here, and becoming who I’m supposed to be.

It was in a moment, and a work in my heart that I only felt by crying. I know now that all those times in the awakening services that He was preparing me for that night and even more moments with Him to come, as well as doing other things that I’m not aware of yet. I need to continue to look into myself and press into Him to see where He wants to take me next. The next things He wants to do in me so that I can bring His name to the nations of the earth, or maybe just my city.

The point I’m trying to make is that we don’t have to carry our pasts with us once we’re set free. He loves to set us free, and let us be who we are without are pasts attached to us. Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed. And this is what the Lord has done in me concerning my past. I don’t have to carry it anymore. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus. The old man is gone, and the new man has come. I’m not looking back, I’m not going back. I belong to Jesus.

‘Epic Fail’

Our words have power.  We were made to have dominion over all of the earth. We were made in His image. God spoke the earth into existence, and its by His will and for His pleasure that we exist. Because we were made in His image (Gen1:26-27), we have dominion, and since God spoke the earth into existence (Gen1:3,6,9,11,14,20,24,26) we have that same authority in our words.
Psalm 8: 4-6 says

What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the work of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet.

So the point I’m trying to get at is that what we say has meaning, and effects us whether that be good or bad. We should be speaking life over ourselves, and truth from the Word Of God, daily, all the time. But there are things that we speak over ourselves or just speak out that aren’t necessarily a good thing, even if it’s not a curse word or hurtful words. Things like “epic fail, fail, fml(this one is bad), kill me now(also pretty bad), etc. ”

Instead of speaking bad things or curses over yourself, trying speaking truth from the Word of God. Like, ‘I am a new creation in Christ Jesus’ or ‘I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me.’

Little things like this will make our days better, especially if we are continually praising Jesus through it all. We won’t buy into the enemies lies about our identity anymore, and we will walk into our destinies and callings without hindrance about who we are in Him.

Also, recently the Lord has been convicting me about my speech. Specifically about words like ‘sucks’ or ‘piss/pissed.’ To our generation, they don’t seem like bad words. But if you were to ask our parents about these words, they wouldn’t say the same things as us. The analogy I believe the Lord gave me while I was driving back to Kansas City about this on Tuesday was that as a nation, we have been desensitized visually with how much sex sells and how much more language and nudity is shown and heard even on billboards, mall ads, commercials, not just movies and music. How do we just let all this slide in America? So again, if we were to ask our parents, even grandparents this time, about how much has changed, if they would have let so much nudity and language through on the radio, tv, movies, music, etc. back even 30-50 years ago, it would be no, everything was a taboo.

Now with all this said, The analogy the Lord gave me was this: Even the little words we speak that, we think might not be that bad, are just as bad as watching soft-core pornography willingly. Think about it.

We have to watch what we say. We do this by carefully censoring what we put into our ear gates and eye gates. Jesus says in Mark 7 that defilement comes from within a man. How does this work? By what we put inside ourselves, because when we’re under pressure, or even just by putting the things inside of us, they WILL come out of us.

When He had called all the multitude to Himself, He said to them, “Hear Me, everyone, and understand: There is nothing that enters a man from outside which can defile him; but the things which come out of him, those are the things that defile a man. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear!” (Mark 7:14-16)

That’s really it. Hope you think about and take to heart what I have to say. May the Lord bless you and keep you! 🙂

Preparing for Jesus’ coming as Bridegroom, King, & Judge

I don’t want to be offended when Jesus comes back. I want to know that I am His, and I want to trust with all of my heart that what He’s doing is in Love and Mercy. That everything He’s doing to rid the earth of wickedness is Holy and Pure from His heart. Judging the earth isn’t just to judge people because He’s out to get them, but because He loves us so much that He wants to save us from ourselves.

I want to be sure that He is Love through all of the chaos that might make it look like He’s not. The truth is He is good all the time. We have to seek Him as Bridegroom, King, AND Judge. Because He is all three of those things. He doesn’t stop being one to be the other. He is all three in one, all the time.

As a forerunner, my job is to tell people that Jesus is going to judge the earth while He is still King and Bridegroom. To tell anyone and everyone that Jesus is coming to rid wickedness, not to come destroy people because He’s mad at humanity. Jesus loves us and hates wickedness, and so those who practice wickedness will be swept away in judgment if they don’t repent of their wickedness.

Here is what Mike Bickle has said about it;

Forerunners proclaim from the scripture what will happen before it occurs. They prepare people to respond rightly to Jesus by giving them understanding of his plans, so that they will be able to agree with what He is doing in that hour instead of resisting it. If people lack understanding, they will be more vulnerable to yield to fear, offense, confusion, compromise, and deception.

The Word and Spirit emphasize Jesus as Bridegroom, King, and Judge at the end of the age. As a Bridegroom – He is filled ith desire for His people. As a King – He possesses all power. As a Judge – He is zealous to intervene to remove all that hinders Love as He confronts oppression.

Those who misunderstand God’s judgments will be tempted to be offended or angry with Jesus. As God’s Judgments unfold, many lose their perspective and objectivity in seeing God’s love and wisdom. Thus, they need understanding from a biblical perspective so that they may rightly interpret the events as expressions of God’s love and wisdom. The purpose of God’s end-time judgments against the antichrist’s empire is to remove all that hinders love and to stop oppression.

Thus my job as a forerunner is to warn people from a biblical point of view that Jesus is coming with judgments to remove all that hinders love. This is done in love by Love. In the book of Revelation chapters 19-22 talks about Jesus being Bridegroom, by the Church and the New Jerusalem being a ‘Bride adorned for her Husband’. He is King of kings and Lord of lords. And his Judgments are true and righteous.

He is Holy, and worthy to be praised. Praised in His righteous judgments. We don’t want to be offended or bitter toward Jesus for doing what is in His heart to do.

I hope this makes sense. I have spent only a little bit of time throwing this together. I am going to try to start blogging more regularly as the new year approaches and in the new year expect to see me from me. 🙂