February 22, 2012 at 3:06 am · Filed under Uncategorized and tagged: awareness, bunny path, Chist, Christian, church, Deliverance, God, holiness, holy, Holy Spirit, homosexual, homosexuality, ignorance, inner healing, Jesus, love, rant, salvation, tangent
Basically to start, I want to just say that I love the Church, and I love the people Jesus has in place in my life and throughout the body of Christ in the whole earth. I pray the church would wake up from condemning sinners, you’re all sinners too, we all equally need the grace of God in our lives! And to wake up from ignorance against touchy subjects, such as homosexuality.
This may turn into me ranting, but I need to get this out. The Church needs to wake up from ignorance about homosexuality, within and without of the church. As someone who has walked away from that lifestyle, I beg you to stop telling me, (or us), that I just need deliverance and I’ll be fine! To just keep seeking Jesus and I’ll be “normal” one day! Even if you’re saying things like this out of love, it’s also out of ignorance! Being a Christian isn’t about being a heterosexual if you struggle with homosexual tendencies, but holiness. This is the type of comments that make me want to walk away from my faith and the church. I believe that there is no such thing as a “spirit of homosexuality” either. There are spirits of lust and perversion that work in a person who identifies as homosexual, and they also try to work/manifest in a believers life who struggles with ANY type of sexual issues, homosexual or heterosexual. There is also no greater sin than the other, they are both equally immorality to the Lord.
Also, if communicated to another Christian who struggles with it, as long as there is no attraction to each other OR there is accountability it is fine. There is no reason to run and hide from it. It is a part of who we are, but not who we are. Because I don’t believe there is a “spirit of homosexuality”, I also don’t believe that if you’re around someone that is openly gay, you are open to those 7 stronger demons to come back in after you kicked out the “1 gay demon.” Again, if we are around someone else who is maybe not a believer, but openly homosexual, there is no reason to run and hide from it either. There are people who believe it is who they are, (it’s not true), but it shouldn’t affect someone who walked away from it if they have had some deliverance and inner healing of wounds from their past.
I believe that homosexuality is real, but it’s also from relational brokenness, (due to the fall of man Genesis 3). But I believe it can happen from distant or no father in early years of life and/or overbearing mothers. Sexual and verbal abuse from parents, siblings, peers, etc. Lack of family dynamics. Our parents are broken too, we can’t really blame them for it. Sometimes it can come through generational bloodlines and try to cling, (the brokenness from the parents wounds us, possibly due to any struggle they had with homosexuality). We develop same sex attractions due to lack of same-sex affection growing up and even into adulthood. It is something that we deal with as it is developed, we are NOT born with it. (Even if science tries to prove it, they can’t really.)
The truth about deliverance is simply put like this: “The REAL definition of “deliverance” is NOT the absence of a struggle, but the grace of God (Power of God) to control a thing that once had control over you.” Someone can surely be delivered of physical ailments and even demons, but not from something that they have a void of relationally.
This is biblical. Look at 2 Corinthians 12 7-10 (emphasis added):
7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
God never took away the thorn in Paul’s side, (could have well been same-sex attractions, but it doesn’t say). But Jesus’ grace was sufficient for Paul to overcome(take control over), by the grace of God, the affliction that was given him to keep him humble in the sight of God and men. Proverbs 24:16 For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again… Solomon said that the RIGHTEOUS man may fall seven times, but he chooses to rise again. (It doesn’t say the UNrighteous man.) If I choose to get back up after stumbling doesn’t mean that I can’t be around people who identify as homosexual, as it’s sadly becoming more a part of our culture. God never promised we wouldn’t fall, and he doesn’t expect to attain 100% obedience right away either, but that we set our hearts to attain it.
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13
He promised us a way out of temptation, not that we’d never be tempted after we decide to follow Him.
One last thing that really bugs me. If two guys, (or girls), who struggle with same-sex attractions move into a place together, as long as there is no attraction to each other, it should be a safe place to live, as long as there is proper accountability in place as well. For clarity, if you don’t struggle with this, are you attracted to EVERYTHING that you see, or do you have a TYPE of person you are attracted to? …That’s what I thought. A common misconception is that any person who struggles with same-sex attractions/homosexuality, is automatically attracted to every person of the same sex that they see. It’s not true, we have a type of person, too. As for me, I have a type, of course, and am NOT attracted to every guy or even girl that I see for that matter. BUT I have to fight/by fleeing the lust and perversion that comes against me when I am attracted to someone of “my type”.
Church, I urge you to wake up from your ignorance to this issue! I will say again that walking away from any sin is not about becoming something, but about being holy, and walking in holiness instead. I don’t expect to ever fully be a “heterosexual instead of a homosexual,” until Jesus comes back or I die and go to His presence. Although Jesus can do anything, I feel He is choosing to let me struggle with this, as my arena to love Him, to show my love for Him.
If you have any comments or disagreements with me, comment below and I will be glad to talk about it. If I feel I left anything out or said anything wrong, I will fix it or repost this. Thank you for reading!
January 28, 2012 at 1:48 am · Filed under Uncategorized and tagged: Bible, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Christ, Christian, church, Faith, freedom, God, holy, Holy Bible, Holy Spirit, ihop, IHOP-KC, revelation, testimony
This is just an update and more knowledgeable overview of my testimony, some of it may be in detail, some may not be.
So to start, basically I grew up in the church, felt like I had a great home life as a child but looking back, don’t think it was as great as I thought. By the time I was 10-12 years old I had started looking at pornography and had developed same sex attractions. I believe that a root issue to these things was that I was molested by a male babysitter, possibly multiple times, around the age of 6-8 years old.
By the time I was 18, I was addicted to porn, and on my way out of the closet. I had professed to be a Christian my whole life, only knowing about God and not actually knowing Him. I walked the walked and talked the talked but didn’t do anything to back it up. But God had different plans for me. I got invited to go to the Onething Conference in Kansas City, MO. Lou Engle spoke on confessing our sin, and we went back to the hotel and I confessed some of it, and then more once I got home. It was at this point in my life that I decided that I was going to walk away from the homosexual lifestyle, even though I hadn’t really gone to far into it – by God’s Grace!
I can honestly say that I have had some freedom, but I know there is more! I still struggle daily with the same sex attractions and am dealing with my porn addiction by getting rid of sources to access it. I sold my iPhone after just getting the new one and having it for 3 months due to wanting freedom more than a phone. It was a moment that the Lord said “Are you willing to lay down a thing that you enjoy, for ME now, rather than keep struggling?”
I am currently seeking more healing from the Lord, and who knows if I will ever be completely free from some of it. But as I press into prayer and the Word, there is no limits for the Lord! He can pull us out of any pit, it doesn’t matter how deep you think you’re in, He can reach you.
Now, I am running hard after the Lord, walking in freedom, and not gonna worry about my past, it’s gone. Even if I still struggle, His leadership in my life is perfect, and He won’t put me to shame if I put my trust in Him.
February 23, 2011 at 6:35 pm · Filed under Uncategorized and tagged: Abortion, alcohol, america, billion, billions, drugs, Fast, For such a time as this, hebrews, homosexuality, human trafficking, Jesus, Job, Maranatha, pornography, Pray, psalm, sex trafficking, social injustice, the end, tough times ahead, united states
Recently, I have been feeling called to do some sort of fast for the ending of social-injustices. Such as abortion, human sex trafficking, the ending of pornography and homosexuality in America. (Ps25:9, Ps37:6, Ps72:4, Ps106:3, Prov21:3) I believe the Lord can end such things as these, if we petition Him. (Job36:6, Ps103:6, Prov29:26) He already knows what have need of or are going to ask for in prayer, He just wants us to talk to Him and ask Him for those things. No good thing will He with-hold from those who put their trust in Him, and seek His face. (Hebrews 11:6, Psalm 84:10-12)
6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 LORD Almighty,
blessed is the one who trusts in you.
In 2005 (the most recent year for which there is reliable data), approximately 1.21 million abortions took place in the U.S., down from an estimated 1.29 million in 2002, 1.31 million in 2000 and 1.36 million in 1996. From 1973 through 2005, more than 45 million legal abortions have occurred in the U.S. (AGI). Today there has been well over 50,000,000 abortions in the united states alone, legal or illegal.
27 million people are in modern-day slavery across the world, this includes sex trafficking and forced labor slaves. 80% are women and girls, 50% are children. 14,500 – 17,500 – Number of foreign nationals trafficked into the United States every year (2004). This illegal trade brings in over $32 billion a year worldwide.
Pornography brings in approximately $14,000,000,000(yes billion) a year in the United States alone. Approximately $56 Billion worldwide annually. It is absolute filth and garbage. It can become an addiction, with similar effects as drugs and alcohol have. (Small holes and deterioration on and in the brain, not 100% if this happens with a porn addiction but I’m sure something like this does occur). The chemicals released on the brain when viewing are similar to the effects of using drugs such as codeine or crack cocaine.
Homosexuality – in and of itself – identifying yourself as someone who is attracted to the same sex – is not sin, as well as the actual attractions to the same sex are not sin. What is sin – is when we take those thoughts and attractions and turn them into lust, view pornography, or act out in sexual relations with another member of the same sex (married gay couple or not). I.e. illicit sex acts, and or gay sex/gay marriage. Although, it is not a choice to develop the attractions, there is a choice to walk away or embrace it as who you are. There is hope to become new and more in Jesus Christ. I am a living testimony of that. (Click here for my testimony)
As of today, The Obama administration has “dropped the defense of the anti-gay marriage law”. This, in the Lord’s eyes, is a sad day. He is consumed with loving us, yet we willingly choose to walk away from Him.
There has been talk of prophetic words that indicate that America is going to have some serious hardship over the next 5-10 years. Under the weight of man’s sin, creation’s groan is going to have some serious temper tantrums in the months and years to come. Just to name a few things that could happen, earthquakes in DC and the west coast, volcanoes on the west coast acting up, solar storms that could cause major internet and communication problems, and droughts leading to famines, and higher food costs.
I believe that this is just the beginning of the birth pangs, described by Jesus Himself in Matthew 24(v. 7).
The time is now to act. As His bride, who will be made ready for Him, by His Spirit, we must take action. For such a time as this, He has me feeling the need to act in fasting and prayer, right as this defense for anti-gay marriage is dropped. We need to FAST and PRAY like we never have before. The urgency of the hour is upon us. There is no time to waste in the lesser pleasures of this world. It’s time to get in the Word, renew our minds, and be un-offended when the Lord begins to move with even greater power.
I believe the Lord has called me to a long term fast of no meats and sweets for the ending of social injustices as listed above. Will you, too, hear the call, as all of these things come crashing down on us, to FAST and PRAY weekly? Join me – by fasting meats and sweets one day a week for at least a year.
For such a time as this, He has called us to Pray for the ending of these injustices with. Ask the Lord to have His will be done, and His kingdom come in the lives of people in circumstances/situations listed above. And in your own life, let His kingdom come and His will be done.
Maranatha, Come, Lord Jesus!
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